Hidden Seeds and Anxieties

Whirl-pool: a body of swirling water formed when two opposing currents meet. //  The most powerful "natural" whirlpools are the result of tidal changes and the fast-flowing water through

narrow shallow straits (also defined as the current state of Liel's heart).

   Anxiety: an emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts, and physical changes like increased blood pressure (Also defined as the recent state of Liel's heart). 

     One year and a couple months ago, I was standing on top of a cliff, overlooking a raging sea. I was on the island of Malta, gazing at the same sea that had torn Paul's ship apart in Acts 27 (read the story, it's a good one).  

While gazing down at this water  (finally something louder than my thoughts),I remember seeing huge areas of white water surrounded by light blue, and then darker blue.  I eventually recognized that these white areas were made because of whirlpools that were stirring up the water under the surface. They were INTENSE. I remember thinking I could relate.  Now, a year and a few months later, I would consider those distressed pools as very close acquaintances  (kin, even!)--we understand each other.
   Whether anxiety is an old nemesis or a new foe for you,  this enemy is one to be reckoned with.  But how do we fight it? If you have been following Jesus for any length of time, you are 

probably quite familiar with this passage: 

" Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."
            Sounds simple enough, right? Make your request with thanksgiving, and the peace of God will guard your heart and mind. This has held true through the ages, and is still true today. But what if  you have sent your request up with all the thankfulness you know how, and the peace somehow isn't coming down? (see Lk. 18:1-8) 

You have looked down at your troubled sea and proclaimed the  truth of Psalm 89:9--
"You rule the raging of the sea; when its waves rise, You still them." 

    These words of faith once left your mouth with great boldness, only to fall into the sea that caused them to be spoken. Now they leave with trepidation, as the waters become a flood.  He can calm the waves if He so desires, so why is this wind allowed to continue stirring our spirits into distress? He rules the raging of the sea, but every time we strain our eyes to see Him walking on water,  it is a mirage. 

Lord, don't You care that we are perishing?

(perish: to be lost, to be marred; to be destroyed)
   We are those who know the One who cares for our souls. We gaze upon the lilies of the field, and study the birds of the air. The wind carries the all too familiar question to our souls:
Where is your faith? 

   Is it not here, living within me? But this time it is different. We used to call out in the midst of our troubles, and anxieties would cease with His answer.  We heard His promise--
"My peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you.  Not as the world gives do I give you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid." 

And we believe!

                   So why does the anxiety stay? 

  Anxiety reaches a place inside of us that cannot be seen, only felt. This is also the place where faith is built. It is a battle ground. Our prayer then echoes the plea of the disciples in Luke 17--
Lord, increase our faith.  

      And what is the Lord's response to such a cry? 

   "If you have faith as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be pulled up by the roots and be planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you." 

   That's the kind of faith we all want to have--but what does it mean, to have faith as a mustard seed?

  For the past few weeks, I have begun gardening here at the Ranch. We grow our own cabbage, our own lettuce, and our own broccoli (we grow more than that but I can't think of anymore right now).

   My first experience with gardening  was placing the seeds inside of the little soil pellets.  The seeds were so small, it was hard to imagine anything would sprout from them.  I placed them gently inside the small depression and covered them up. They were now in a place that was dark.

They can't be seen.

  

  Two weeks later it was my turn for gardening again.  I went back to the greenhouse, and found that the tiny seeds had all become sprouts.  I had the general idea of how it came to be.  The little seed had the nutrients it needed from the soil and the water, and just the right amount of sun. 

  Somehow a transformation took place where it went from a hard seed to a soft plant, but I could not watch the exact process. It was done in the dark; in the same place the caterpillars transform into butterflies.  In the same place anxiety meets faith.

Jesus talks about this process in Mark 4:26-29:

  “And He said, “The kingdom of God is as if a man should scatter seed on the ground, 27 and should sleep by night and rise by day, and the seed should sprout and grow, and he himself does not know how. 28 For the earth yields crops by itself: first the blade, then the head, after that the full grain in the head. 29 But when the grain ripens, immediately he puts in the sickle, because the harvest has come.”

   Sure, I put the two seeds into the soil pellet to grow (two in case one didn't sprout). Yes, I watered it. But I did not cause the transformation to take place. The miracle of new life is orchestrated only by the Creator.  "if you have faith as a mustard seed..." I used to understand that passage to mean if I only had faith as small as the size of a mustard seed. Now I read it differently. 

  The seed is put into a dark place that no one else can see.  Then he starts to come apart. As far as he can tell, he is being destroyed. Perhaps he is tempted to cry out--
"Lord, don't You care that I am perishing?" 

   But there, in the midst of the confusion, and darkness, and catastrophe--there LIFE is being produced.  The seed did not have to change himself. He had zero control. His Creator made him into a new, living thing. He was so small, but when he yielded to His Creator something new and something life-giving was produced. I think even little seeds know their Creator. 

     God does not stop the process of transforming the seed because (to one who does not know better) something is being lost. He does not set the caterpillar free from the cocoon because it struggles. He continues on, letting the old pass away and the new come. 

So what does this have to do with anxiety? 

  Life is filled with  things that we don't understand. This new wave of anxiety is one of them (for me, at least).  But when we are caught in a storm that is not ceasing, and every prayer has been spent, we no longer need to seek the calming of the storm. We need to seek the One who is allowing it. We do not deny our reality: the floods have come; we are helpless to stop them. 

 But we acknowledge the One over our storms, whether or not He chooses to still them. 

We can stand above our sea and cry out Psalm 93: 

"The floods have lifted up, O Lord,
The floods have lifted up their voice;
The floods lift up their waves.

4 The Lord on high is mightier

Than the noise of many waters,

Than the mighty waves of the sea."

   Is this not faith? 

The prayer is not one of peace, but of faith in the midst turmoil. 

   As we acknowledge that the One who is acquainted with all of our ways is still in control, somehow the distressed feelings do not overcome us as they once did. It does not mean they disappear, but the the whirlpool created by two opposing forces (fear vs. love) understands that it's time is short--"and the God of  peace will soon crush Satan underneath your feet(Rm. 16:19)."

            In the core of anxiety, there is fear. 

1 John 4:18 reads--

 " There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. 19 We love Him because He first loved us."

Why is anxiety so damaging?  Why is it so dangerous? It attacks love. 

  Our storms do not cause anxiety. Our inability to understand the love that covers our storms does.

              Jesus met His disciples in such a state: 

 " And He said to them, “Why are you troubled? And why do doubts arise in your hearts? 39 Behold My hands and My feet, that it is I Myself…"

troubled: stir up, cause great distress, cause a riot 

doubt: thought, reasoning 

   The disciples were in a situation they could not understand. This caused great distress, (anxiety) which led to them trying to come up with their own conclusions. If the mustard seed tries to understand what is taking place when he transforms, he will think he is dying. If the caterpillar tries to understand his transformation, he will think he is forever stuck in his own embalming. 

How do we fight anxiety? We look upon His love. Not glance. Not listen and nod. Study it.  Soak it in.  PUT IT ON. 

   Perhaps you are walking through this time so that your heart can be established not on calm waters, but on LOVE. Oh, how He wants us to know even more the depths of that which caused Him to give His own Son for us. 

  Perhaps He is teaching you how to keep a sober mind in the midst of troubled thoughts. 

"Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brethren throughout the world.”

  The floods have lifted up their voices. The Lord on high is mightier. 

Fear has come to take its stand. The Lord on high is mightier. 

 Troubled thoughts plague our minds. The Lord on high is mightier. 

This is not forever. 

He is working on your behalf, even in the dark place. Anchor yourself to His love. 

"But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you."

    1 Peter 5:10

**sources: wikipedia ; whirl pools: spiral wishing well