"But He was in the stern, asleep on a pillow. And they awoke Him and said to Him, 'Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?'"
It's suffering. But it isn't you that's being hurt, it's someone else. Someone too far away to hold and too distant to protect. Someone much too innocent to understand what is being done to them and all you can do is just watch. The suffering of the innocent is something that has always plagued my mind. The fact that evil is going on and I can do absolutely nothing to stop it tortures me. I would give anything to just be able to whisper into one their ear's...it's going to be all right. But I'm here. And they are over there. I can't. It all just seems to be getting worse.
One particular day I saw something that really disturbed me. It was so unjust, so unfair, so cruel. And there was nothing I could do to stop it. I cried out to God. I asked Him why? How can all of this be allowed to happen; how can the universe stay running, when so much pain is being experienced throughout the world? It didn't make sense. It wasn't fair. I cried every night...one morning I said
"God, I'm dying inside. I'm dying. I can't do this. Don't you see me? Don't you see this suffering of the innocent? Don't you care?" It was a bold thing to say. God knew that I understood that He cared. But my heart was breaking. I needed to hear from Him. I went to open up my Bible, desperately needing God to speak to me. I opened up to Mark 4. What I read there changed my life.
"On the same day, when evening had come, He said to them, 'Let us cross over the other side.' Now when they had left the multitude, they took Him along in the boat as He was. ...And a great windstorm arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that it was already filling.
But He was in the stern, asleep on a pillow. And they awoke Him and said to Him, "Teacher, do You not care that we are pershing?"
Oh. Man. Sound familiar? My heart stopped. That was me.
"Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, "Peace, be still!" And the wind ceased and there was a great calm. But He said to them, 'Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?'
Mark 4: 35-40
I had no words. There it was. All the answer I need. The winds arose, the waves were beating me, and the torment and pain was already filling my heart. Where was Jesus? He was resting. The disciples said exactly what was on my lips a few minutes prior. "Lord, don't You care that we are DYING?" How much that must have pained His heart! The suffering and pain of this world seems so near, so present. It seems too big.
But Jesus is over the storm. He can rebuke the wind and calm the sea that seems to be destroying me. He could rest because He could see the end! He knew that in just a little while there would be a great calm, and His name would be glorified. And all the disciples had to do was trust that He was in control, and that all would be made right in the end.
Far be it from me for Jesus to tell me that I have no faith! The pain is real. The waves are big. The wind is strong. But Jesus is bigger. He is in control. There will be an end to this suffering. There will be a light that overcomes the darkness, and there will be arms that lift the innocent up and comfort their hurting hearts.
Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But one day. And I will rest in Him until that day comes, because my Jesus is bigger than the storm, and stronger than the waves, and the end of the story belong to Him! And good will triumph in the end.
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