Lost Love...

That first love...

Nothing can compare. When he completely sweeps you off your feet. Your life revolves him...you want to spend every waking moment by his side; you allow him to consume your thoughts and practically run your life. You dream of the day when you will be his, and he will be yours, forever. 

  Then one day he asks you to dinner, and you feel this special tingle in your heart..something is different. then he gets down on his knee and asks for you to be his forever. your eyes well up with tears, as he picks you up and sweeps you off your feet. 

   Every day feels like an eternity as you earnestly wait for the blessed day when you official become man and wife. you become one. As the dawn of your wedding day occurs, you can hardly breathe from the excitement. you get yourself all ready--no one can deny the beauty of the lovely bride. The rest of the day seems like a blur, as you are lost in imagining your future with your Prince Charming. You are completely lost in his love. you feel as though nothing can get in the way of your paradise. 

"I know your works, your labor, your patience, and that you cannot bear those who are evil. And you have tested those who say they are apostles and they are not, and have found them liars; and you have  persevered and have patience, and have labored for My namesake and have not become weary. Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love."

Revelation 2:2-4

The days go by. You still love your soul-mate, but some things have changed. you don't swoon at the sight of his face; the tingling in your stomach no longer occurs when he enters the room. you still love him!! but it is not the same....

"But Jesus said to him, 'no one, putting his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God."

Luke 9:62

  The weeks go by, then the months, then the years. You are grateful for his companionship, but he does sometimes bug, doesn't he? Those wonderful dates you used to have...oh, the good ole days..when nothing could pry you two apart. Now you spend more time arguing than laughing...and those sweet texts you would send back and forth. ha! kinda embarrassing....wish you could back? mm.. love to but... just don't have the time. 

    This story sounds all too familiar. but it is taken as fact. yea, the love is great at first, but that never lasts forever. I mean it can't, right? 

 You have been wooed, courted, and swept off your feet by the most perfect Prince ever to enter reality. That Prince is Jesus Christ. He created you, and loved every moment of you. He watched you grow and discover His infinite love for you, and rejoiced in your passionate love for Him. He waited with expectation to speak to you every moment; He adored when you quieted your heart and only listened to His thoughts. You two were inseparable. and such joy you shared!! 

  But the weeks went by, then the months, then the years. Your time with Him became shorter and shorter, and the noise of the world drowned out His still small voice. You still love Him, of course!! But that love...it has died from the beauty it once held. It lessened from what Jesus intended it to be. He faithfully waited for your sweet messages and dates together, but you were just so busy!! of course He'd understand....

 Our God is a jealous God. One of His names in the Greek is El Qanna. He calls Himself that name in Exodus 20:5, "For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God." Does this mean He is jealous OF you? NO!!! The God of the universe has absolutely no reason to be jealous of His very workmanship. No, He is jealous FOR you. Unlike man, whose love is more of an emotion than a choice, His love is eternal. And He is eternally in love with you. Yet how easy it is to ignore His voice! To allow other things to get in the way of His love. But in the end, what is more important than Him? Why do we allow our minds to become so consumed with ourselves and the things of this world that we neglect the God of the universe who gave Himself up to one of the cruelest tortures in history just so that He could call you His own. and He is head-over-heels in love with you. The rest of the verse in Revelation(v.5) says:

"Remember therefore from which you have fallen; repent and do the first work, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lamp stand from its place--unless you repent."

Is that convicting or what? God considers leaving our first love with Him a sin. Not a mistake, not a lazy thing that happens to everyone...a sin. Something He takes very seriously; enough to tell us to repent--or He will remove "your lamp stand from its place." See, when we allow His love to be squelched from our hearts, we also allow our effectiveness as His witness to be dulled, and we are no longer usable! How devastating is that? We have been given the love of your lives given to us freely, and yet so often we choose to let it slip away!! Jesus is clear on what we are to do. 

       1. Remember

2.Repent

3. Return

 Remember what is was like! Before the worry and stress of the world drained His life out of you. Before the envy of other things robbed you of the joy that was yours from giving all your love to Him. Remember the passion, the excitement, the joy.

 If you allow yourself to remember the sweetness of your love combined with His, and the repentance should come as a natural step. Repent does NOT mean confess, it means to TURN AWAY from it!! Complete 180 degree about-face. and to never look back. 

  Then...return. Return to Him! Let Him wrap His arms around you, and just enjoy the warmth of His love and presence. He has been waiting SO patiently...and desires nothing better than to hold you in His arms, pour out all His love on You, and to listen to your voice!! He has missed it so...and He has wanted to share so very many things with you; things that the business of this world has stolen away.

   I write this as much to myself as to you. maybe you have not lost your first love, maybe you are still in the beautiful season!! but the trials will come...and the world will start yelling their opinions in your ears. and you will have to FIGHT for that first love. cause love is not an emotion, not a feeling, not a high--it is a choice. But if you desire to be fulfilled, and be used in any great way (or even small ways) you must choose to love Him. He has never stopped pursuing you.

"He is wooing you from the jaws of distress to a spacious place free from restriction..."

Job 36:16

How do we do this? How do we keep our first love ignited? 

"You will keep  in perfect peace,  whose mind is stayed on You, because He trusts in You."
Isaiah 26:3

We have to keep our eyes on the prize ladies!! we must keep our minds stayed on Him and His love.

We must keep our armor on, 

     "For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the the obedience of Jesus Christ.."

2 Corinthians 10:3-5

capture every thought and throw it at the feet of Jesus Christ! Fight the good fight, run the good race, and just....be still. and know that He is God, and He is madly, wildly, eternally in love with you. 

"Behold, this is our God;

We have waited for Him, and He will save us. 

This the the Lord;

We have waited for Him:

We will be glad and rejoice in His salvation."
Isaiah 25:9

A sucker for a sale..

for a sale...

So today, I write this with a heavy heart. I left it in the hands of a young Israeli salesman named Avi at West Town mall...

Now before you get all crazy on me listen to my story. You will feel my distress!

   So, my two younger sisters and I were walking along minding our business, shopping at West Town Mall. When out of nowhere, --literally out of nowhere--, I hear this strong accented voice saying "ladies, ladies.." I look to my left. and there he is. young, dark, tall Israeli, with a stare you couldn't escape. Tali started to whisper "ignore him" when I took a step toward his lovely, charismatic smile. "Can I ask you something?" I hesitate. "Sure.." Oh great. Here it goes. I'll never get out of here. 

"How do you do your hair?" Problem: I don't do my hair!! Really. I just get out of bed. hence my response: "nothing! I just get out bed." (look of obvious disbelief)

 "really." 

"yes!"

 "really?"

 "yes!!" 

"wow. do you ever straighten it?" 

"Sometimes!" (I said that last part a little too enthusiastically, grateful to be able to give him a satisfactory answer. "Can you...come over here for a moment, come over here." Ugh that accent. what did I do? I went. just like a crazy-head...

"Ok!" we all exchanged looks. 

"come sit here. I will not touch your hair!" *pause* "unless you want me to." yeah......right. and so begins my long, long trial of desperation and manipulation. "what is your name?" I feel a gust of pride. "Liel." His eyes widen. "liel? really? my best friend is named Liel. Lovely name; the best name." and the plot thickens. He proceeds to tell me how this straightener will beat all else, how it softens my hair, and brings out the healthy minerals. (it's true!! seriously amazing.) He then curls my hair, flattering it the whole time, of course. needless to say, it was a flawless curl.

 "I love it!" he smiled. 

grrr... "now how old are you?"

 "17." 

"You have a job?" 

"No." (my heart breaks a little at the memory of my wretched state.)

 "when I was 17 I had a job and lots of money all the time." (well, well, well, aren't we special?) I sigh. "now tell me, do you like it, or do you love it?" 

"well, that all depends on the price; whether I like it or I love it." 

He smiles (covering up his annoyance). "It is on its own $250, but I give it to  you for $150." Oh wow! that sounds a like a deal! NOT. but those eyes!! "I would but I'm broke, broke, broke." He doesn't even pause. "I tell you what. I will put in two shampoos, and will give you this card--this card lets you come in 10 times whenever you want to get your hair done however you want." Ok, now he's got me. This man is slick. "I just...I..." I put my head down. "I'm so stressed." He puts his hands on my head and lifts up my face. "do not be stressed, sweetheart." he clears the hair from my face. "you need this, right?" I pause. 

"this is the only deal. You cannot get this anywhere else. you must get this. please." I am beyond stressed. I DONT HAVE THE MONEY. why am I stopping? hesitating?? after a while, I finally come to the conclusion that I just cannot afford this right now. " you cannot? You really cannot?" I mournfully shake my head. "will you come back?"

 "umm..." 

"tomorrow?" 

"well, maybe more likely on Thursday." (right...)

 "Ok. You take this card." He writes down his name. "now you tell your mom, for your friend's mom how much you love this. How much you need this. come back and ask for me. It's Avi.  but you must come on Thursday. Please ladies." I take the card and hop out of my seat. "Liel!" he calls after me. "that is the most lovely name." 

  Now, to get to the chicken of the soup, or the gold of the mine, or....the moral of the story. This little example of what happened to me tonight (which happens more often than I dare to admit) is a perfect analogy of what the world does to us. are we buying into the world? are we looking into the charming eyes of deceit and allowing ourselves to be drawn in? are we suckers for a sale? Now, truth be told, the merchandise wasn't bad. It was good! but the cost was very much outweighed the benefit.  the things of the world draw us in. we are made to believe that we "need" them. that we are getting a deal!! that the cost isn't real a cost at all. In reality, the price we pay for the things of the world is our very souls. 

    "For you were bought with a price, therefore glorify God with your bodies."

                                         1 Corinthians 6:20 

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for  yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and rust CANNOT destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal."

Matthew 6:19-20

Satan is the master salesman. The master manipulator. The glittering glass. he beckons you to come, to draw near. it's not that big of a deal. "i'm not even going to touch your hair.." and he's not ugly either. the things of the world are ATTRACTIVE.  and before you know it, you are trapped in a place you never intended to be, and the cost is your very soul. 

"The thief comes ONLY to kill, steal, and destroy, but I have come that they may have life, and life more abundantly."

John 10:10 

Check yourselves. are you buying into the swirling circle of "need" and deceit? are you selling what is eternal, for what is destroyed? Do not be deceived. Satan is smart. determined. and very, very active. 

"Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same suffering are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you."

1 Peter 5:8-10

Take to heart what truly matters. Fix your eyes on Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face. And the things of earth will go strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace.

Holiness

GUYS–
this has been on my heart LIKE CRAZY. It is something we are all lacking in, and no one is recognizing the drought. It breaks the very heart of God and weakens the believer.
that is a lack of HOLINESS. In 1 Peter 1:13-17 it says
“Therefore, prepare your minds for action, keep sober in spirit, fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.As obedient children, do not be conformed to the former lusts which were yours in your ignorance,but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior;because it is written, “YOU SHALL BE HOLY, FOR I AM HOLY.”…

So what is this? Is it a suggestion? A recommendation? NO! What separates us from the rest of the world if not a HOLINESS and PURITY? Yes, there are some costs, some things you’ll have to give up, some shows you will not be able to see. But what do you receive in return? A close COMMUNION with God, and an INTIMACY that it is impossible to receive any other way. Our calling is HIGHER. it is HARDER. it is BETTER. and IT IS WORTH IT. Guard yourselves! Prepare your minds for ACTION! Keep sober in your spirit, and FIX your HOPE completely on the grace of JESUS! and that is when you will be fulfilled.

Guard your heart...

“for out of it springs the issues of life…”

when I see these little elementary/middle school girls out at the mall with their “boyfriend”‘s or crying over a “break-up”, it puzzles me. Seriously? What do they even know about relationships? Sadly, this is the foundation for every other relationship they will ever have! It is a pitiful, sad imitation of what God intended a relationship to be. Now in high school, I see girls get their hearts broken every day, guys that just play with hearts for the fun of it, and it saddens me. There is a REASON why God said “Above ALL else, GUARD YOUR HEART. For out of it springs the issues of life.”

this is EVERYTHING guys. EVERYTHING. girls get their worth from what boys think of them, and guys lose the meaning of true love. we must WAIT on God’s best, and not settle for ANYTHING less! so that when that special person comes, in GOD’S time, the heart you have to give is not used and tattered by the many hands that misused it; but it is full and pure, a precious gift for the hands that will never let it fall.

I am.......He is.....

"Higher than than the mountains that I face...
Stronger than the power of the grave....
Constant in the trial and the pain....
                                                                This  one thing remains:

 

Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me..Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out one me, Your love..."

Through my every day, my every hour, my every second--Christ's love remains constant. If that is true, then why do I allow myself to become depressed and overwhelmed about all the cruelties of life? Why do I see my heart's desires and my spirit's dreams as an unattainable reality? Why can crushing depression seep deep into my heart until I've forgotten why I'm fighting in the first place?

  If God's love for me is truly unconditional, constant, and forever pursuing, why is it something I feel I have to earn to attain?

  I am nothing. Yet Jesus died to make me something. My heart is ugly. Jesus died because He saw something beautiful. I am weak. The Lion of Judah became a lamb to make me strong. I am empty. He came to make me full. I am broken. He was broken so I could be whole. I was rejected. I am my Beloved's and my Beloved is mine. I was jealous of others. He is jealous for ME.

 I am a failure. He is my victory. I am corrupt. He sees me as pure. I am  never enough.

"My grace is sufficient for you, My strength is make PERFECT in weakness." I am dead inside.

"I have come that they may have life, and have to the full!" I can do nothing. "With God, all things are possible."  I am..............

                                                              I AM.

"I am confident in this very thing, that He who began a good work in you, will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus."

Philipians 1:6





waiting...

Psalm 27:14
"Wait on The Lord, and He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on The Lord!"
 This verse has become my rapture these past few months. As I am waiting on God to fulfill His promises, I am running dry. Waiting on something that you can't see...it is a task. A very difficult one.
  So why does God have us wait? Why do we seem to be left in the dark, with our dreams and desires just out of our reach?
  Hebrews 11:6 -- "But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for He who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him." 
Why does He ask us to wait? To see our faith!! We say we trust Him, but do we really? "He who comes to God must believe that HE IS..." How powerful is that? Do I believe that He is? Does my heart trust that He is enough? All-sufficient? Do I KNOW that He IS GOD? Do I live like it?

He is a REWARDER of those who DILIGENTLY seek Him. He creates the scenario. It would be oh-so-easy to dwell on self-pity and mourn about the wait, but I must choose to do the harder thing. To diligently  seek Him. And when I feel that it is all for nothing, I must remember that HE IS, and that is a rewarder. If we seek Him, and do not give up, He WILL be faithful. But He must first see if we think He is worth it. faith. I am in need of so much more!!

 Yes, waiting is hard. Painful. and many times feels impossible. But just remember, this too shall pass, and throughout this battle, we must prove ourselves worthy of the joy that is set before us.

"Wait on the Lord, and He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!"

Psalm 27:14

1 Corinthians 13

   Hey! I have been meaning to put this onto a blog since last Wednesday, but I haven't really had the chance since school and all. Here's the deal: I went to youth group last Wednesday, and my youth leader really drove home a point. It has been put on my heart, and I felt like I needed to put this on the blog.... :) I know that most or all of you who are reading this are probably familiar with 1 Corinthians 13. That's right. The LOVE chapter. (It's actually where Liel and I got the name of this blog from ;)...) Of course, I've always read it and been like, "yeah well love, uhuh.... I get it. I need love in my life, and well... yeah..." But hearing God speak through Mr. Billy (my youth leader), it just brought a whole new perspective on this chapter.

Chapter 13 starts off saying, "Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal." Think about what UT's football stadium sounds like when we score a touchdown, or if we were to win a game against Florida. (By the way, that would be LOVELY!) It is a huge roar. Or think about a whole bunch of people yelling because they're mad. If you weren't part of the noise, or even if you were, it would be pretty obnoxious to listen to, huh? It makes you want to plug your ears. Well, if we are speaking in tongues or ministering to people, and we don't have love, then that's how we sound to God; like a loud, obnoxious, annoying noise. It's sad to think about; I don't ever want to sound annoying to God so that He would want to plug His ears.

Verse 2 says, "And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge...". Let's stop right there. If someone has the gift of prophecy, what does that mean? It means that you can know what's going to happen in the future. But also take note, in the Old Testament, if you were a prophet and you didn't speak the exact words of God, or receive a direct revelation from God, and you said that it was true, then you were executed. This means, that you would have had to have heard from God Himself. So if you were in tune with God, knew the future; the next part of the verse says, "understand all mysteries and all knowledge". It's saying that you know everything! You're a braniac, you can know the future, and you understand all the "mysteries" of the past. BUT, here's the thing, if you don't have LOVE, it profits you NOTHING. The verse goes on to say, "and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing." Faith that can remove mountains??? That's a lot of faith. And I can sure say that that's hard to have. If we had it, but didn't love, we are nothing,... nothing!

"And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor..." If we sell everything we have, and give all the money away for a good cause, it profits us nothing. "If I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing". Really think about it. IF YOU GIVE YOURSELF TO BE A MARTYR, if you die for a cause, but don't have love, then IT'S ALL FOR NOTHING! It takes a LOT to even sacrifice your will or what you want to do for somebody. But to say, "I will DIE for my cause", if you're willing to sacrifice your whole life, but you do not have love, guys, it's ALL FOR NOTHING! What you really just did then was die. Nothing more, nothing less. You didn't receive any reward for it, it was all for nothing. 

Verse 4, "Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." Love is not jealous. Love is not prideful. It doesn't think of ways to get people's attention on you. It is not boastful. Love does not behave rudely; it doesn't yell at your sibling, it does not tell them that they are annoying and to shut up. This is really challenging. I have been struggling with the same types of things. God really convicted my heart with how I had been responding to my brother. "Love does not behave rudely, it does not seek its own, it's not provoked, thinks no evil..." Man....... When the Lord want to speak to you, He cuts deep to the heart... "Love does not rejoice in sin, but rejoices when the truth is spoken." When I think of that verse, it brings to mind someone who will just speak the truth, not with malice, but solely the truth. And when they speak it, if they are right with the Lord, then they will speak it in love, not pride, not for attention, but just in love. The Kathy family who owns Chick-fil-A, comes to my mind. We should be praying for them daily as they continue to make their stand, and are persecuted for stating the truth.

"Love never fails." That is self-explanatory, powerful. Love will NEVER fail. Even when the person is jumping on your last nerve, and you've had it with them. It doesn't stop loving the person who hates you. It never fails. "But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away." The verse is saying that all these things are going to pass away, they won't exist anymore. These things are mortal. When the earth is destroyed, the worldly form of these things will be done away with. I love the next couple of verses. Verse 9 says, "For we know in part and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away." Right now, we have limits to what we can know. That's easy to understand. The verse says that "when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away." Jesus has already come. He is the perfect one. And He is perfecting us as we walk in our journey with Him. But when His kingdom comes, when He takes us up to heaven with Him, then what we have here on earth, it will all be gone. The Bible says that the earth will be destroyed with fire and there will be a new heaven and a new earth. What we can know now is only "in part". It's only just a glimpse, but when we get to heaven, we can all see everything, and the veil will be removed.

Verses 11-12, "When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known." It's true, Paul is saying that when we're children, we can only understand as a child can. But when the time comes, we put away that old life, and put on the new. "For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face." Mr. Billy was saying that mirrors in those days were not the ones that we have today. What they had for mirrors was only just a polished bronze, that they could look and see what they thought was a reflection of themselves. Little did they know, it wasn't anything like what they really looked like. This really makes this point even clearer. We can know things now, but what things really are, is not anything like we think it is. "For we know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known." We need to make sure that the lives that we are living are matching up to God's standard, because when we get to heaven, verse 12 says that we will "know just as I also am known". This is our chance to make our own choices in life, to choose to live for Him, and to enhance our relationship with Him. Why not make it as good as we possibly can so that when we are known, it won't be a shameful thing.

And finally, verse 13 says, "And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love." Love. That's all we need. This chapter makes it clear that love is what we really need, it's what needs to be in all that we do. My youth leader closed us off by giving us this paper, that had some words on it. (duh...) These words are familiar to many, but are really challenging. It's from a song. And I'll type them out. Take the song out of your head, and just read the words like you have never heard the song before. It goes like this,

Sometimes I think  what will people say of me

When I'm only just a memory, when I'm home where my soul belongs

Was I love when no one else would show up

Was I Jesus to the least of those, was my worship more than just a song?

I want to live like that, and give it all I have

So that everything I say and do points to You

If love is who I am, then this is where I'll stand

Recklessly abandoned, never holding back

I want to live like that

I want to live like that

Am I proof that You are who You say You are,

That grace can really change a heart, do I live like Your love is true

People pass and even if they don't know my name

Is there evidence that I've been changed, when they see me, do they see You

I want to live like that, and give it all I have

So that everything I say and do points to You

If love is who I am, then this is where I'll stand

Recklessly abandoned, never holding back

I want to live like that

I want to live like that

I want to show the world the love You gave for me

I'm longing for the world to know the glory of the King

I want to live like that, and give it all I have

So that everything I say and do points to You

If love is who I am, then this is where I'll stand

Recklessly abandoned, never holding back

I want to live like that

I want to live like that

And so as my youth leader said, I want to challenge you in your walk with the Lord. Are you walking like you should be? Do you have love in your life? Can people see that love? Because if you really want to make a change in this world for Jesus, it all starts with YOU living it.

God bless you all. Jesus loves YOU! Don't be afraid to call on Him for help. Have a great day.

Your sister in Christ,

Mikaela